I understand beginner coaches very well. You've finished your training, you've spent the money. It's time to pay them back and earn them back. But if you work with requests that should be handled by psychologists, psychotherapists or psychoanalysts, you're in for a disappointment. With coaching, you probably won't do any harm, but you won't help either. The risk is that your self-esteem and motivation will drop. Believing that you are capable of helping clients.
In the summer of 2015, while gaining practice hours for my 4-module professional coaching certificate, I was contacted by a client. Her name was Irina. She found out about me through an friend of mine, to whom I had successfully conducted a coaching session the day before. I met the client at the office to solve her problem. She had held a deep guilt against her parents for 18 years and still could not forgive them for what had happened. Irina looked at me with a devastated look. In her eyes there was no way out. This was the first time I had ever worked with a client like that, "But I'm a coach. I will definitely help her," I said to myself at that moment."
A suitable technique, in my opinion, was the "Open Question Scale."
I asked, "Irina, what should be in your ideal relationship with your parents on a 10 out of 10 possible on a scale?"
The client replied, "I don't want any relationship with them at all. I need to forget the offense with your help, and with it my parents!"
How was the turnaround? I was completely confused. Nevertheless, I thought of the next relevant question, but never found it. I was saved by the client herself. She said she should probably see a psychologist. I nodded, apologized that I could not help, and said goodbye.
Two conclusions I made that day:
1. Always ask about the client's request before the meeting.
2. To figure out what kind of requests a coach works with and what kind of requests he doesn't.
So that you don't repeat my mistake, take a look at the main areas in which we can help our clients.
1. Working with goals.
2. Creating positive changes in different areas of life.
3. Development of new qualities, skills and competences.
4. Work with motivation and self-confidence.
5. Working through limiting beliefs: fear of not being liked, fear of being funny, fear of criticism, laziness, insecurity, etc.
Requests that we do not work with.
1. Soul pains.
3. Addictions (alcohol, drugs, etc.).
4. Emotional issues.
If you would like to know more about the mistakes of coaches, you can download a fragment of my book "50 mistakes of a beginning coach" or buy it.
Sincerely, Vlad Shakh.